Jan 10 2009

Confession: There is so much heart for in numbers that are so few, yet i still trust in them for that love, that they won't leave.

stupid, right?



these days are worth living.



I sit and try to figure out every night why people listen to me or care to get to know me.
It sounds melodramatic, and a common question, but it seems to stay in my head.
I figure its because at an early age i was just trained not to give a fuck.
But, when I do start caring, which is a total weakness in itself. I turn to these people/pieces of advice.

1. Kurt Cobain - "I'd rather die than be cool."
Ironic, seeing that he was then seen as cool than blew his brains out. but i understand, because he didnt want to be what kids tried to be, then later destroying it. He had way too much mind and talent to die- but i always remember that.

2. Malcolm X - "By any means necessary."
When you know whats right- fucking forget what everyone else says cuz who gives a shit about everyone else?

3. My mother - "No matter what you aren't going to fit in. Face it. You aren't like them- and you can look at it in any way you want. But, why worry about something that you can't do because you aren't them."

"The best people are the ones that love every weird bit of you and actually get what the fuck you are talking about, but don't drop the ones that don't either."

"Sure, everyone has their reasons for doing something. 'Oh well i have had a ton of shit happen to me and i was beaten. thats why i drink and smoke pot.' Yeah, those are the reasons- but they don't justify a person. No matter what the reason is, a person can handle it better. And there are no real levels of misery that can justify a person acting out. It's all wrong."

"Caring about what everyone else says just ends up slowing you down."

and many many more quotes.

in summary: without my mom, i would be a wreck. i've learned how to deal with people and understand myself and how when it comes down to it- you just cant afford to care what people think.

4. Marilyn Manson - "What I really am is what I'm out there on that stage to see and the layers to me are spread out for everyone. Believe what you want, I don't give a damn." (something along those lines.)

note; Greatest man ever.