Right when life seems to give me air, it sucks me back in with a salty coating so that I'm unable to resurface without my eyes and skin burning. Struggling to doggy paddle, eyes shut to try to ease the pain, attempting for any footing or land- which i know doesn't exist for miles or leagues under the sea.My fascination with the sea will never ease, for my being is drawn to it like a magnet.
If I did perish, I would want my ashes scattered out into the open sea. I have always found peace with being in the middle of a green and blue ocean, with land completely out of my vision. I'm starting to lose track of what I was talking about, so let me continue with my analogy.
I find the joys of my ocean yet I can not avoid the salt. Everyone has their problems, and I don't consider mine above anyone else's. I have shelter, essentials to life. Even more than what I absolutely need, and I am so thankful. I just don't understand why a person can try their best and achieve nothing but "good karma", but have things go uncontrollably wrong. I get through them, because what other choice do i have?
I just wish when people say, "My dad is a bitch" or "My dad can be such a bitch" that they realize how lucky they are to have a parent that cares or that is somewhat there. I wish I could say my father died with honor in a burning building, or even just say he smoked a little too much and got lung cancer. Frankly, I will never be able to find any light in the real situation. It wasn't the typical type of abandonment and it wasn't like the man ever had a heart.
Where does a person get off of calling another one insane?
Try to play mind games all you want, one day I will get away from you.
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