I'm changed forever. I'm happy, but I don't deserve it. I told myself I wouldn't ever be the one to hurt people and screw them over, but I was wrong. I screwed over a person that deserved better and I disregarded everything.

I'm scared. I feel like that little kid on the playground that has played on the swings countless times, but I kicked myself so high up in the air that I wasn't sure to keep swinging higher or to panic and jump off. Jumping would potentially hurt ten times more than taking the chance of enjoying myself and to continue swinging.

I'm listening to the mix I'm making for someone really special. I seriously am hoping he doesn't read my blog, which makes me blush thinking about it. But then again, I don't mind. Thus, why I'm writing at all. Right now it's playing "Run" by Snow Patrol. Giving this song to anyone on a CD feels like I'm chipping off little bits of myself and spreading it around. All I can think about is the future and if things will work out well... god, I hope so. He's my best friend. I remember the first time I saw him, and I couldn't stop telling my other friends about him because I knew he was different. I couldn't have asked to have someone as great as him. I thought I gave up on this kind of stuff.